Accepting You Can’t Change Others

Thanks everyone for your wonderful feedback on my “to vacation or to not vacation” dilemma. I appreciated everyone’s support to spend the money to go and got really excited about the trip. Fortunately, S, who has been extremely unhappy with his job, had his first round interview at a promising company. Unfortunately for me, they are asking him to come in next Friday and they like to give “assignments” to their potential hires, so we have decided that San Diego will have to wait until another time. I am still going to leave for CA to see my family sometime next week and will spend a week there. Although I was really looking forward to the beach weather, I am somewhat glad that this came up as I realized I still had not made housing plans for a wedding I am attending later this month. Thanks everyone for your feedback, I really appreciated your support to spend the money, especially because the San Diego trip felt somewhat frivolous.

I had my exit interview with my boss today. I went back and forth for days on whether I should be brutally honest with him on my feedback of the company and risk jeopardizing my relationship with the boss (he is known to take criticisms poorly from anyone, even if you present it as an opportunity) or if I should just gloss over it in order to maintain a good relationship with him.  I was hoping that being honest in my feedback may help my colleagues with things such as quicker responses from management, more strategy in marketing, etc. I asked several friends for advice and no one had a good answer.

Just minutes before my meeting with him today, while bouncing ideas off with a friend who will also be leaving her company and has had similar problems with her management, we both came to the realization — our feedback won’t change anything. I am not saying that I don’t think bosses ignore or take offense to areas of improvement suggested by employees, just that our specific bosses would. Knowing nothing would change, there was no reason to risk burning the bridge. So with that, I had a nice conversation with him, discussing some of the issues I have run into while working there (some of it outside of his control) and reiterating some issues I had previously raised.

I do feel somewhat guilty towards my current coworkers since I think if he were to listen to my suggestions and honest feedback, it would have assisted them the most and made the rest of their time at the company easier.

Have you been in a situation like this? If so, what did you do? If not, what would you have done in a similar situation?

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